I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We are two peas in an std pod
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
