Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
