I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize