i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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