I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
