what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
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If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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