Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
