pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
