So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
