and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
