I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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