is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
