Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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