The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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