What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
