Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Sacagawea was the original milf.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
