Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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