I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
