After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
