Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
