I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I wear drunk well.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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