Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
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My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
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Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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