she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We are all done wearing pants today
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
