Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
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what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
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I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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