Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
