When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
