How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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