I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
