i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
