I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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