You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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