Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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