I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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