Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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