worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Let's get the cat blown out
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize