I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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