Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
