So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's never too late to be topless.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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