I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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