Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
and she was petting her beer can
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize