I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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