Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Green mimosas i think yes
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
