i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
