I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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