i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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