well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
