Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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