So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
