i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
please come you make the beer taste better
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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