I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i think i just lost a toe
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