i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
