Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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