Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
