no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
