Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
