I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
