I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
