At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How does one acquire holy water?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
